Let's see if I can do this systematically, I am ill. I've been ill the last couple of days, however I dragged myself into school today in order to take the Midsummer rehearsal, because the teacher wasn't in, so it was just me. It took the cast (or at least those that had shown up) at good fifteen minutes to either show up, or shut the fuck up so that we could actually get something done. Of course when I say get something done I mean stumble through because nobody can actually be arsed to do anything even vaguely productive. I was actually on the verge of tears, st one point I walked out, hoping that this would have an effect, which it didn't. Some of the actors have not yet learnt their lines, we have been doing this play since September, we're performing on Tuesday. They are going to be stood on stage making up Shakespeare as they go along. This is pretty much impossible. Add on to this Titania had a go at the Mechanicals for talking when she was trying to perform, only then to start talking when they were on stage.
My head felt it was like it was about to explode.
In this play I have to wear the most horrific costume ever seen, believe me, it is a bright green tutu, green and black stripey tights, black vest top, black wings. Now that sounds bad, I'm fat, and I have to wear this.
I am also, and the scary thing is this may actually be quite true, I am turning into my drama teacher (I have two drama teachers, one is like a happier version of the other, I am not turning into the happy one. (Although admittedly I think that people are actually really mean to unhappy-drama teacher, because she's really quite nice, if not just nowty)). Apparently I am being as nowty and as snide and blah.... the long and the short of it is that I'm becoming her, I don't want to!!! I really don't!
Plus I am failing three out of the four A Levels that I'm studying. The only one that I am not failing is Theatre Studies, which I was actually contemplating taking on to uni, but I can't get a handful of year tens to shut up and do what they're supposed to be doing, so what fucking chance do I have of ever becoming a director that people would take seriously or pay attention to. I really don't know why I'm bothering anymore. The only thing that I really love, I'm actually really, really crap at. I mean, for fuck's sake I only lasted one day as a potwash, before I quit because it was too hard.
I should just jump off a cliff now and save people the bother of having to put up with the huge failure.
Rant complete.
Goodbye
2 comments:
You are a brilliant director, and don't let anyone make you think otherwise.
The reason that they don't tend to listen (aisde from them being complete tosspots, albeit with one extremely good looking tosspot in the mix), is because they're the same age as you; they're in the same year as you; and they've basically grown up with you. You're friends with a few of them, and as such, they think they can mess around and have a laugh.
It would be COMPLETELY different if you were directing a group of people in lower school, or directing a group from a different school who don't know you.
The suggestions you have made (whilst often weird and disturbing, but I guess that's the influence of drama), have been awesome, and made the play much better than it would have been otherwise. I also doubt there would be as much BITCH-SLAPPINGS, and uber-comprimising positions, meanie :p
It may seem like it's gone terribly, but I'm pretty confident that the play's going to come together in the end, and we're going to put on a kick-ass show. And then we shall all go out and RAVE IT UP.
You're certainly not terrible at directing, and I'm positive that in a few years you're going to be terrorising David Tennant, or some other poor actor soul. And I'm 100% positive that you're not a crap director - it's just really hard to try and boss around people that you've known for seven-ish years and mucked around with, because they still see you as 'one of them'.
I think you're awesome, personally.
*Sneaks in with a secret virtual hug that is completely impercepable, so NUH :p*
So...I am on mega catch up of all your blogs from numero uno!..And it makes me happy that I didn't make you cross this very cross day :)
(Or at least not enough to stand out as a marking down on a blog cross!)
x
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